Dear Dr Duck,
I am finding myself in a most embarassing situation. I am a young ostrich and like any teenage ostrich, I enjoy going out and being social. However I am finding my height a problem when mating season comes. Many ducks are put off by my size but as long as it has a tailfeather, I couldn't care less. I realise that you are used to giving advice to chickens, but you are the only one I can turn to.
Please help Dr, as I am comtemplating putting my head in the sand and never taking it out
[email protected]
Dr Duck Says......
So it was you who manhandled Miss Mallard at the New Year party! I remember her staggering out of the water like a stuffed goose and shouting that a bald emu with a long neck had grabbed her tailfeathers. Good on yer, mate! Mind you, there were a couple of Mandarins there that night that were as dirty as you like - I even cancelled morning surgery next day 'cos I found it so difficult to sit down!!! Happy days...
As for putting your head in the sand? -Why not try putting your lady duck's head in the sand, that way she'll never get to see your hugeness!
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